Blockchain Nation, Banana Republic

How Trump turned decentralized finance into a centralized swindle—and made off with billions while the regulators were fired.

Crypto is here. Not the outlaw version. Not the digital revolution. Not the decentralized, power-to-the-people fantasy it sold itself as. What we got—again—is the con in a suit. A new racket in old hands.

We didn’t get the future. We got the IPO.

You can now buy crypto in your retirement account, stake it in your Fidelity app, and get hit with taxes when it craters. The “currency of freedom” is now a volatile asset class, dressed up as innovation and built to collapse under anyone who actually believes the sales pitch.

And right at the center of this newly domesticated circus? Donald J. Trump. Of course.

He didn’t just jump on the crypto train. He branded it, hollowed it out, and turned it into a personal ATM. Again. Trump didn’t invent the crypto grift—he just dressed it in a cape, gave it a catchphrase, and sold it to the same folks who once bought his superhero NFTs. Same hustle, new hat.

Start with the $TRUMP meme coin. Launched in January 2025 by Trump-linked companies—CIC Digital LLC and Fight Fight Fight LLC—the insiders kept 80% of the supply, while only two hundred million tokens were publicly released. Within days, the coin reached a $27 billion market cap and generated nearly $100 million in trading fees within two weeks, even as over 700,000 wallets lost a combined $4.3 billion. And here’s the kicker: $TRUMP isn’t backed by anything—no reserves, no peg, just hype, headlines, and Trump’s face. It’s a speculative vehicle rigged for insiders to cash out while everyone else crashes.

Then came World Liberty Financial, a so-called DeFi platform 60% owned by the Trump family, issuing two tokens: WLFI and USD1 (a so-called stablecoin backed by U.S. reserves). Within months, it pulled in over $400 million in token sales—including a $2 billion investment from Abu Dhabi via Binance—and channeled 75% of net revenues straight to the Trumps. It had Trump’s approval stamped all over it: just after launch he signed the GENIUS Act to legitimize stablecoins—and days later, the SEC abruptly paused its fraud investigation into Justin Sun (yes, that Justin Sun) after he invested $75 million in World Liberty Financial. The timing stinks of quid pro quo: pump cash into Trump’s crypto venture and the investigation of Justin ended.

All told? The Trump family’s crypto haul is $1.2 billion. And it’s not just random wallets losing money. The same people who sent him to Washington are now bankrolling his blockchain getaway car. That’s billion—with a B. Off the backs of retail traders and MAGA coin-flippers fooled into thinking they were riding the next revolution. Buying a meme coin with Trump’s face on it wasn’t a statement—it was robbery.

And there’s more. Melania’s $MELANIA token was front-run by insider wallets buying $2.6 million pre-launch—offloading them within 24 hours for nearly $100 million. Not a campaign post. That’s theft.

But crypto didn’t invent money laundering. Trump’s been in the money laundering business for decades: condominiums in Panama, sixty-three multiple condominium sales in Florida purchased by Russian criminals, casinos fined, shell companies, cash in duffel bags. Crypto just made it faster—and digital.

Once back in office, he dismantled the DOJ’s crypto enforcement, froze SEC actions, let Binance and BitMEX walk, and pardoned allies. This isn't deregulation—it’s demolition.

Crypto isn’t about freedom. Not here. It’s become a slot machine for the rich and a scam for everyone else: no refunds, no regulators, no recourse.

And let’s kill the myth right now: crypto will never replace the dollar—or the FED. It leeches off them, pegged, priced, and cashed out in dollars. Its only purpose? Short-term chaos and fast money for insiders.

The U.S. dollar may erode slowly with inflation, but it doesn’t swing 30% because a billionaire sneezed. You can’t price rent, taxes, groceries, or payroll in a token that collapses before lunch. Real economies need stability. Crypto doesn’t offer that—it thrives on volatility. That’s not a bug. It’s the business model.

And the FED? The FEDeral Reserve isn’t a meme. It’s the stabilizer of last resort. It raises rates. Adds liquidity. Backs the banks. Bitcoin can’t do that. Ethereum can’t do that. Dogecoin can’t do that. The FED may be flawed, but it exists. It functions. It matters.

Crypto destabilizes by design—because chaos is where the profits are.

Most of these coins leech off the dollar, anyway. They’re pegged to it. Priced in it. Cashed out to it. Crypto doesn’t replace the system. It freeloads on it, repackages it, and sells it back with worse ethics and a dumber user interface.

So yes. We have crypto in the U.S. now. And what did we do with it? We handed it to a game show host turned authoritarian hobbyist and watched him strip-mine it like everything else he touches.

It’s not the future. It’s just another racket.

And it’s not just crypto. Since returning to power, Trump and his family have treated the presidency like a toll booth. Hotel deals. Secret payments. Saudi golf contracts. MAGA token dinners. NFTs. Insider stablecoins. $1.2 billion in blockchain grift, minimum. Add in the $2 billion Jared Kushner got from the Saudis post-White House—and the family’s plunder is over $3.3 billion.

That’s not governance. That’s extraction.

The Trump presidency wasn’t service. It was a harvest.

And the United States? We’re the field he’s still plowing.